ADULT TRUTHS

It’s Friday-Hallelujah! Have a few laughs my friends.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Don’t you also hate how they say “start driving northwest”-if I knew which way NW was, I wouldn’t need the directions. Maybe I’m the only one? Although I know Julia can probably understand this. I do remember a time when we got on the interstate in Harriman to head back to Kingston and realized we were almost to Crossville. oops!

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. ah, college.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. hence this blog post. 🙂

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. especially with a desk job!

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? This usually comes back to bite my in the caboose when Nick asks about it later.

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. Love this one-I never wash my jeans if they have only been worn once!

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

2 thoughts on “ADULT TRUTHS

  1. Julia says:

    LMAO LOVE THESE!!!!!!!!! And you are correct about understanding the directions!! I am still horrible with it!! Luckily I have Jack to help me. I ask him all the time "What would I do without you?" His response is always "Well..you would be lost about 98% of the time if you didn't have me."

  2. Lauren says:

    ha, I love it! I think he is correct considering we couldn't get home to Kingston. He sounds like a keeper!! 🙂 I do really well in D.C. most of the time, but sometimes I get confused about which way I need to walk! Maybe I need to "get in my map" like Joey in London!!

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