Let’s Talk About It

When I use to see people share pregnancy news very early or make an announcement after a miscarriage, I always wondered why they would share with the public in case anything went wrong again. I heard someone make a similar comment this weekend and it struck me that my view has completely changed since our miscarriage. 

Despite putting a lot of details about our lives on this blog, I don’t share everything about our personal lives with the general public. I didn’t mention anything about our miscarriage on Facebook and only our close friends and family know about it. However, just because that wouldn’t be my normal to share it, there shouldn’t be any hesitation for that type of news to be discussed. Would it be viewed as fishing for sympathy? I probably would have viewed it that way in the past.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I approach it differently now and no longer understand the stigma attached to pregnancy announcements. Why the secrecy? If it’s okay to rejoice with someone over good news, why not pray over them in sadness?

1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, yet as common as it is, it seems like there is a perception that women shouldn’t talk about it. The thing is, for me, that has been one of the best things I can do. I don’t always want to talk about it or broadcast it widely, but talking to other women that have experienced the same thing we have makes you feel less alone.

Several of my close friends have also had miscarriages. I ran into a college friend this weekend and she mentioned they have been trying for two years  without success, which is exactly what we are facing right now. Every family has a slightly different story, but we can all agree on one thing: it sucks. 

Lately, when a pregnancy announcement pops up on Facebook, I immediately think, “why can everyone in the world except me get pregnant right now? I’m sure I’m not alone in that thought and hearing from a group of women along the same path could give someone hope or strength. Most of the time, people tend to share they had trouble only after a baby is born. 

I’m not here with all the answers or even ready to start standing up as an advocate and talking about my experience to anyone who will listen. But I was bothered by the comment I heard this weekend that a woman shouldn’t share her pregnancy story just because of a previous miscarriage. I don’t want to be silent, I want to be comfortable to talk about it without others feeling like it’s a taboo topic.

So, let’s talk about it and support one another instead of suffering alone.

5 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About It

  1. Bri says:

    I agree so much! People asked me why we shared our news so early after struggling to get pregnant ( long story short our daughter was conceived thanks to fertility treatment and 17 months, 3 failed fertility treatments and giving up on having any more children landed me pregnant with #2!). I said for so long I hid the fact that it’s hard for me to get pregnant due to my pcos but if I’m able to share good news I’m not going to keep quiet if something happens. I covet prayers either way!

    I have read your blog for a few years now and love how honest and real you are! I pray for those I know and don’t know that God would answer their prayers of becoming parents for the 1st time or 2nd or even more. Everyone has a different story to having their babies and it should be talked about not kept quiet.

  2. Life's Better With Freckles says:

    Hi Bri! Thanks so much for the sweet comment. Hearing your story is exactly why I wanted to talk about it….it helps so much to hear others share what they have been through. You give me hope that hopefully we will be able to have another one. Thanks for reading. 🙂

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