When I use to see people share pregnancy news very early or make an announcement after a miscarriage, I always wondered why they would share with the public in case anything went wrong again. I heard someone make a similar comment this weekend and it struck me that my view has completely changed since our miscarriage.
Despite putting a lot of details about our lives on this blog, I don’t share everything about our personal lives with the general public. I didn’t mention anything about our miscarriage on Facebook and only our close friends and family know about it. However, just because that wouldn’t be my normal to share it, there shouldn’t be any hesitation for that type of news to be discussed. Would it be viewed as fishing for sympathy? I probably would have viewed it that way in the past.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I approach it differently now and no longer understand the stigma attached to pregnancy announcements. Why the secrecy? If it’s okay to rejoice with someone over good news, why not pray over them in sadness?
1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, yet as common as it is, it seems like there is a perception that women shouldn’t talk about it. The thing is, for me, that has been one of the best things I can do. I don’t always want to talk about it or broadcast it widely, but talking to other women that have experienced the same thing we have makes you feel less alone.
Several of my close friends have also had miscarriages. I ran into a college friend this weekend and she mentioned they have been trying for two years without success, which is exactly what we are facing right now. Every family has a slightly different story, but we can all agree on one thing: it sucks.
Lately, when a pregnancy announcement pops up on Facebook, I immediately think, “why can everyone in the world except me get pregnant right now? I’m sure I’m not alone in that thought and hearing from a group of women along the same path could give someone hope or strength. Most of the time, people tend to share they had trouble only after a baby is born.
I’m not here with all the answers or even ready to start standing up as an advocate and talking about my experience to anyone who will listen. But I was bothered by the comment I heard this weekend that a woman shouldn’t share her pregnancy story just because of a previous miscarriage. I don’t want to be silent, I want to be comfortable to talk about it without others feeling like it’s a taboo topic.
So, let’s talk about it and support one another instead of suffering alone.